Last night we had a great conversation. One of the many things that I took away was that we all have stories. Each and everyone of us, those sitting at 807 Edenton St. every Thursday night and those who would never venture to step a foot inside with a group of Christians.
We talked about not wanting to be seen and at the same time so desperately wanting to be seen. I wonder if this is a paradox that most face on some level? My guess is 'yes'.
Two clues give this away to me... Post Secret and the 25 random things about me that has been going around face book recently... we want to share and we want to know, but we aren't sure how others are going to respond because somewhere deep down we feel alone or that our story will shock others or turn away friends and family.
This can still go on, or we can do something about it. My suggestion is that we start sharing our stories... What is yours? Mine will be on the first comment (in abridged form). Maybe sharing our stories will free us up to engage with others, go as Jesus did and heal as he healed...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I grew up in the 'all american family'; success in the eyes of the world (beauty, athletics, intelligence, security, popularity)... our family had it all. Even in the eyes of the church we were praised (close to each other, no major foibles, dad as an elder and deacon, mom works with the children, brother and sister leading Fellowship of Christian Athletes, involved in young life and youth group, even invite our friends to be involved in these things too)...
So, you may be thinking, where is the dirt? Well, under that external (outside of the cup) there was a bunch of junk that we failed to deal with for a long while... I am thankful for the healing that has begun and continues in my family...
My story includes...
Self-righteousness
Lust
Making fun of other people to make myself feel better
Self-loathing because I thought I had too much good stuff and didn't have the right to feel anything negative
Years of anorexia and bulimia
Emotional and sexual abuse from a guy in high school
Comparison with others (especially my brother)
Placing my father as an idol
Fearing emotions and shutting them out
Straight A's
Captain of the Cheerleading Squad
Always had a ton of friends
Continual pursuit of faith in Jesus through all of the mess
Crying for hours because I didn't understand why Jesus had to die
Double major in Spanish and Communication
Telling my grandparents they were going to Hell
Asking for their forgiveness and now we are building a great relationship
Working out up to 4 times a day to burn the calories from the gum that I was chewing
Being looked in the eyes and told that God wasn't punishing me, this truth broke through my world in a way that I will never forget
Learning to ask for help through equine therapy
Making wonderful friends in college that have stuck by me through all of this
Having a wonderful marriage and a husband who is patient and kind with me
Wanting to control everything around me
Starting and dropping out of a PhD program
Realizing that following Jesus is the most exciting thing I can ever do
"Just" waiting tables and working for my church
Dealing with all of the emotions surrounding those decisions
Having my heart break for the sexually exploited
Realizing that I only care about that because I still seek approval from God and friends (that I already have)
What seems to me like "everyone" getting pregnant but us and still not knowing what is going to happen
Going through the roller coaster of feelings surrounding that
Recognizing that I can trust God... The Lord has been working for thousands of years
Writing lots of blog posts to help myself figure out some these questions
Learning how vital prayer is to run to the Good Shepherd
Clinging to Jesus when he frees my wool from the bush
Looking for ways to be a part of de-tangling others wool as well
So, we all have stories, we all have issues, we all have redemption, we are called to reconcile to one another. I'm thankful that we have been given the ministry of reconciliation...
Who wants to share next?
Traci,
I really agree...we all have our stories, no matter what it looks like on the outside. Come from a great family who looks great on the outside and have a wonderful life with my husband.
Upon further examination you would find:
- perfectionism
- divorce
- extremely judgemental
- abuse
- emotional suppression
- close family with never ending support through it all
- stuggle with self and who I am
- struggles with religious views and beliefs
- constant need for acceptance
- music therapy
- need and longing to help others but a struggle with how to do it
- fear of being alone
- dreaming of having children my whole life and never realizing how difficult it would be
- being a constant realist and glad that I have my husband to be my dreamer!
- eternally greatful for the gifts I do have but always find time for self pity
- knowing the right thing to do but usually to not have the strength to actually do it...I have NO ability to stand up for myself, I will almost always opt to make people happy
While we all have our stories, I think just reading both of ours is a testimant to the fact that they truely aren't as different as we might all think.
While we may have differences I think fundamentally our struggles are all the same. I could go on forever here but will hold the rest for a conversation :)
Post a Comment